If you are returning to work after a bereavement, it can be difficult and emotional. Before heading back, see if you can talk to your employer first, or whoever you report to, to prepare for your return and help them to understand that you may need additional support and understanding. You can use this time to ask for a phased return or part-time hours until you feel able to take on more, if you need to.

Find out if the company provides any kind of external bereavement support, such as counselling or a grief programme through your Employee Assistance Programme, or if they will allow you to take time out for attending sessions.

It’s also worth discussing how your loss is communicated to your colleagues, and whether you want colleagues to know or not, or indeed talk to you about it, as you may find it too overwhelming. You might find it easier to talk to colleagues yourself, so they can understand what you’re going through.

Ahead of your return, take some time to prepare yourself mentally and emotionally, if you have the time. This may involve talking to a therapist or grief counsellor, journaling about your feelings, or spending time with loved ones. It is also important to set realistic expectations for yourself. Don’t expect to be back to your old self overnight.

From experience, people tend to sit in one of two camps once back at work. People either really struggle, or they want to keep busy, and are relieved to have work as a distraction. You might not realise you’re struggling at first but tell-tale signs are difficulties concentrating, being short-tempered, tired,or fidgety.

You might feel numb, sad, or need to cry. Throwing yourself into work as a distraction or to numb your feelings won’t help. It’s a fast-track to burnout. If you find yourself heading that way, build in some breaks and self-care, such as a lunchtime walk.

These are all normal grief responses and there’s nothing wrong with you. There are no time limits on grief. You may feel fine one day and dip the next. You might feel different, as so much in your life has changed but everything has carried on at work like nothing has happened.

Be patient with yourself. It is normal to feel overwhelmed, stressed, or anxious in this situation. Give yourself time to adjust and don’t be too hard on yourself if you don’t feel like yourself right away.

Try to find a safe person who you can talk to at work, who you feel comfortable sharing your feelings with. This will help you to feel less isolated. Ideally, you want to find someone who is a good listener and won’t interrupt you or tell you how to feel.

You will inevitably hear sentiments like ‘be strong’, ‘time’s a great healer,’ or ‘don’t feel sad.’ These are things people say when they feel they want to help but don’t have the tools to do so. In these instances, hear the intent, not the content to avoid feeling anger.

If you are struggling to cope with your grief, don’t be afraid to reach out for support. Remember, you don’t have to experience loss alone. Talk to your friends, family, or a grief therapist.